So terribly sad

Last night was one of the toughest nights ever. My Chemistry project... UGH. I only managed to do about three-quarters, and it was midnight.

Around that time, I was just drifting away, convinced that I should give up. I didn't want to do it anymore, I was sick of it, I'd rather just fail. Haha, super melodramatic. Anyway, I fell asleep at my computer and had a little dream...

YH and I were laying in bed together (very innocently though!). We were just facing each other and talking.

Me: "I'm feeling so hopeless and tired... Gege, I can't seem to do anything right. We didn't get all I's in Orchestra UIL, I am no longer even one of the top chairs, I had to skip so many tennis tournaments and practices for orchestra too, I'm afraid I will be kicked out of Top Ten if I let my guard down even for a minute, I feel uncertain in my English... and I can't even finish up my Chemistry project on time, on top of everything. 对不起，让你很失望吧……"

He was very patient and kind. I was trembling and about to cry, and he just laid a hand on my cheek and told me that he was never disappointed in me. He said that I was amazing and outstanding and he couldn't understand how I did it all... He began listing out all my accomplishments and achievements and made me feel proud again, and I was remembering everything...

Then I woke up, and it was 4 o'clock in the morning. I began to work again, and finished up all the mechanisms.

I really do believe that this dream was sent to me by Guanyin. That, probably combined with an unusually high intake of sugar last night... haha. But because of it, I managed to do everything by the time it was all due.

I was in such a good mood today, at school, haha. I guess I still am, but a bit of sadness is mixed in too now... He was fading away from me, and I couldn't say a thing, not even a "thank you".