I'm Such An Idiot

I hate myself so badly right now for hurting him...

If it's really meant to be and if he really loves me, then he should be able to forgive me though. Right? But still... now I can see clearly how much of an immature ninny I can be sometimes.

Why can't I just admit to the general public that we are going out, that we have been going out for a while? It's not that big of a deal, right?

But every time I see a bunch of faces turning my way and a bunch of gushing going on about how "cute" or "adorable" we are, I always feel this urge to just slink away and die somewhere private...

These are not the thoughts of a mature, capable girlfriend. I need to change - not just for him, but also for my own future happiness.