Picnic at Grapevine Lake

Everybody, everybody wants to love

Everybody, everybody wants to be loved...

-Everybody, Ingrid Michaelson

First things first: I cut off a LOT of my hair! Eek! I just put it in a ponytail and then cut it all off myself... Of course, it came out unevenly, but who cares! School's almost over, summer's almost here!

^14 inches of hair cut off and donated to Pantene Beautiful Lengths program!

^I decided to make hua juan-er for our picnic today. The ones with the green stuff are salty onion ones, and the ones with the brown stuff are peanut butter-brown sugar combo types.

^My brother and I~

^My dad and I~

^I was walking along the trail near the lake, and I noticed how much trash there was... So I went back to the site to ask for a trash bag. Then I began picking up trash for about two hours, and managed to collect a completely full bag! It was surprisingly fun^^ and I'm helping the environment too. Lucky coincidence that I happened to be wearing my Ranchview Eco-club shirt too~ Haha.

Anyway, I am so utterly exhausted... I still have to finish my World Literature paper and study for English and History finals tomorrow T_T I have so much to deal with right now, but I've been feeling much more optimistic lately than I have been for the past two weeks. Before, I always felt so drained and hopeless, as if I had nothing to look forward to... But now I'm always active and getting out of bed quickly, looking forward to the day starting. Yay me!

Siena Pasta and Pizza + Estee Lauder

Let me be the one, the only one in the world
Let me be the one who cares
Let me be the one, it won't ever change
Even if I'm born again...
-Let Me Be The One, SS501

So our family went to Siena Pasta and Pizza place today, which is owned by Bruno's Ristorante... Most of the stuff on the menu seemed familiar (albeit more pizza-y), but we were all in the mood for pasta. It was pretty decent, and the prices were lower than at Bruno's!

^This was my meal. I ordered the Capellini Siena, which was some seriously good stuff. Angel hair pasta with fresh tomatoes, artichoke hearts, and capers in a garlic white wine sauce.

^Both of my parents ordered the same exact thing. They ordered Baby Clams, with white sauce over linguini.

And then we went to the mall to browse around... My dad needed to buy a suit, so I was stuck at Dillard's, bored out of my mind. I ended up going to the makeup section, despite being notoriously bad at that type of stuff.

Whatever. All I know is that when I go back to China, I want to look really pretty and glamorous, because all the Chinese girls over there are always stick-thin with a pretty face and perfect make-up.

Anyway... I'm going to the library in a few hours to study with my two favorite Koreans... That should be fun, I guess. Haha, okay, I'm getting off!

Yearbook Posts

So with you I will go

On ships over seas that I now know

No, they don't exist anymore...

-Time To Say Goodbye, Sarah Brightman

Wow... This year has gone by so quickly! Junior year was the most stressful, most eventful high school year EVER - so far. I thought freshman year was pretty exciting, but this one takes the cake.

I joined Eco-Club and Leo Club, was active in NHS, studied a lot more, got into National Merit Scholars, fell in love with my best friend, made tons of new friends, freaked out way too many times for major projects and tests, and almost failed Chemistry class.

BOOM. Destructive year. Seriously. It's been like a whirlwind.

Reading the notes from my closest friends really makes me feel nice about this year though...

"Yo~ The girl on the movie we watched in English class is hot, rite? I really don't have anything to do say... um... This year was fun when I had you as slave, and I looking forward to have you next year~ Don't forget! You are my slave next year~ I hope you don't get infected by any disease in China~ I feel sorry for elementary kids whom you will teach soon~ anyway have a nice one~ Bye~!! -Handsome Guy"

"Erin ___. I can't believe we've known each other for 6 years! :) We're finally going to be seniors hehe. I'm so glad that we have each other to confide in, you always support me and give me such great advice. We might be separated when we go to college but let's always stay in touch. You're like the sister I always wanted to have. Have fun in China, I love you gurl."

"Oh my burl. Dayum gurrl! It's been so freakin' long that I don't know what to write. The first thing that comes to mind is TAKE ME TO A CHINESE RESTAURANT!! YOU TIAO!!! WO YAO FAN! WO AI NI my LOVE. Heh. We'll see each other all the time anyways. Your summer better be amazing ._. Don't forget me. DUEI BU CHI~~~ HAHAHA I butchered that on purpose!!! Well... go have fun skipping now~ I'll hit on you some more later ;)"

I think my favorite note of all is the HUGEASS page-long note that my favorite dhost and senior left for me... He's going away for a while, so that's nice.

Waiting For The Light

As proof of my love,

I send to you the great aspects of life

And hope that you are happy with such a sacrifice

Because when you hurt like this,

I do too.

If you are happy,

Tears of joy will roll down my cheeks

The way a rainbow comes after the storm.

Even though

It is only just now

That I realize

What loneliness

Truly

Is.

[Written by Erin Wei. Inspired by F.I.R's song "等待黎明".]

Rainy Day

我真的喜欢你
真想保护你
给你快乐
除了我，还有谁可以？
-打败, Energy

Yesterday was our last concert for Orchestra! Jeez, time passes by so quickly... it's a little depressing. But I sure as hell can't wait to get out of junior year! -_- Might update with some pictures later, if I look nice in them~

In the meantime, here is a little conversation between me and my best friend for some amusement... He was trying to get me to bribe him so that he'd be my lab partner in Chemistry, and the attempt was not very successful.

Him: "Wait! One more deal! I want you to text me everyday. I mean, LITERALLY EVERYDAY."
Me: "Haha, that's funny, oppa... The last thing I want to do is drive you insane."
Him: "Hehe, cute... You are already driving me insane because apparently I cannot even be mad at you for more than a week..."
Me: "Oh, that's okay. It's not you, it's me. Even my parents can't stay angry at me."
Him: "'It's not you, it's me..?' Wow, what a conceited girl!"

Logan's Roadhouse

我们的爱，过了就不再回来
直到现在我还默默得等待
我们的爱，我明白
已经成你的负担。。。
-我们的爱，F.I.R

Went out to try a steakhouse! I'm not so fond of heavy meats... but it was my dad's last day here for another long while, because he's going back to China for work. And he loves steak. So we ate there.


^This is my Onion Brewski Sirloin, with a side of mashed potatoes... Their signature 8-oz Sirloin Steak stacked on top of beer-braised onions, smothered with garlic butter and topped with crispy onions!

Aside from that... my brain is so crammed with random things that keep popping up... Hydrocarbons, Amitabha, conditional statement conjugations, role of society, USSR... GAHHH go away thoughts >:(

I have been working so much over the weekend... My head is about to explode with all this information. We got two huge-ass review packets for the Chemistry final (which looks super complicated, especially since I forgot most of the stuff from last semester), I've been researching my extended essay topic for Theory of Knowledge (parallelism between Greek Mythology and Buddhist gods), we have a Spanish oral final tomorrow, I need to organize my World Literature Paper I in a better way (it's the role of society in Chronicle of a Death Foretold and The Stranger), and I've been working on my History timeline for the League of Nations.

I really need a break - and no, I'm not talking about this ten-minute break right now... I feel so miserable and stressed right now T_T I need a good, long extended vacation once this is all over.

Stuff

Today was quite fun^^ Senior Awards Ceremony is actually a lot nicer when you're in the gym with the seniors and not stuck in Advisory classroom... I got to hang out with friends all day.

My oppa and former boyfriend shall just remain my best friend. I love having a best guy friend, because he will always be close to me... Well, I hope so anyway, but - really, who knows about the future?
I've been busy every single day this week, but in a good-busy way. It keeps me preoccupied about the stuff that matters, and I find that all my friends are going back to me, which is nice.

^Random squirrel on my mailbox... Hahaha.

I'm Such An Idiot

I hate myself so badly right now for hurting him...

If it's really meant to be and if he really loves me, then he should be able to forgive me though. Right? But still... now I can see clearly how much of an immature ninny I can be sometimes.

Why can't I just admit to the general public that we are going out, that we have been going out for a while? It's not that big of a deal, right?

But every time I see a bunch of faces turning my way and a bunch of gushing going on about how "cute" or "adorable" we are, I always feel this urge to just slink away and die somewhere private...

These are not the thoughts of a mature, capable girlfriend. I need to change - not just for him, but also for my own future happiness.

Harajuku

If I hurt you, then I hate myself
I don't wanna hate myself,
Don't wanna hurt you...
-Your Winter, Sister Hazel

Look, I went to T.J Max today, and bought a new bag!

^It'll be my new school tote! Great for projects and stuff~ I'm so glad I got it!

On the other hand... I pissed my boyfriend off today. A classmate of ours teased us about going to prom together, and I said, "I'd never go with that chimpanzee!"

Oh frick. I'm so immature and stupid for saying that... at least I can acknowledge it though. I know he's disappointed in me right now, and I wish I hadn't said it.

Ducks

I'm stupid, I'm useless
I can't do anything right...
I'm difficult, hard to please
Forever changing my mind...
-According to You, Orianthi

^They've been outside on our front lawn for two days now... The Chinese are well-known for roasting ducks^^ If they stay out there any longer, who knows what might happen?